Good Friends, Good Business
A lot lot of people say don’t do business with friends. I say don’t have friends around who do bad business. I never fully understood not being able to work with friends. It seemed totally opposite of growth. How could I have opportunity and not put my friends on? Wasn’t that my original goal?
I get where that saying comes from, though. I’ve had my share of bad experiences with hiring friends for professional jobs but receiving unprofessional service. I think the problem stems from a few things:
1. Not setting expectations prior to start
2. Not being brutally honest with friends or family/ afraid to damage personal relationships
3. Incorrect valuation of job worth.
4. Cutting corners
Not Setting Expectations Prior to Start
This is huge. A lot of times with family or friends we expect things to be “understood.” But as in any client/service relationship, everything goes better when it’s explicitly stated. Many problems stem from a misunderstanding of what’s expected. You want things one way, but they do it another. Or they may take months to do something that takes a few days because you are friends and leniency is “understood.”
A proper conversation prior to starting a transaction, even if it’s awkward, will kill all the misunderstandings. It adds a layer of professionalism to the transaction and lets your friend know that even though you are friends, it’s business first, and you expect the highest level of professionalism. You both get a chance to negotiate and hash things out ahead of time, instead of after when someone feels cheated. It also adds a checklist you can refer back to in case things go sideways. If they’re a high character person, they will look at that checklist and acknowledge their mistakes. Skipping the boring stage of setting expectations is what kills friendships—not doing business with friends.
Not Being Brutally Honest
If my best friend plays basketball with me and takes 10 steps before he shoots every time, and I encourage him without letting him know his flaws, am I helping him? No. When he leaves and plays somewhere else he won’t see the court.
I use sports as an example because most people are brutally honest with friends when competing, but we like to lie to our friends when it comes to business. If you don’t like how something was done, the most honest critique should come from you as a friend. Give them pointers on what you liked and what you didn’t. If the service pales in comparison to the competition, let them know you’ll give them a chance to do better or you’ll use a competitor. Continuing to use a friend who is doing half of what the competition is doing is a disservice to you and your friendship. They may hate your honesty up front, but when they go back and improve their work, they will thank you. Real friends want to see growth and success from friends. Don’t hide the truth from them, and disguise it as motivation. The fact that you are friends allows you to say what others can’t; don’t waste this privilege. Not being honest will cause you to harbor bad vibes which will then leak into the personal relationship.
Incorrect Valuation of Job Worth
When you overpay for a service you feel cheated—I don’t care if you’re friends or not. Feeling cheated over time will make business feel personal. This could have been handled by setting expectations and properly negotiating or being brutally honest, but sometimes as friends we feel like we will contribute to our friends’ dream no matter the cost. True value should be consistent, friend or not. Time, experience and skill are all critical factors of value. If you’re a startup, you shouldn’t charge what a pro is charging who’s been doing it for 20 years. If you are, then I’d expect the exact same if not better service, friend or not. A lot of startups come out of the gate charging sky high prices;, I don’t think this is the proper valuation. Cheap work comes with some mistakes; expensive work come with the expectation that it will be fixed at all cost—even if the business takes a loss. Knowing that, cutting breaks for friends will leave you feeling cheated and damage a personal relationship.
Knowing your worth is a common saying, and most of the time it’s used to express the fact that you’re undervaluing yourself, but it works both ways. As a friend we should have the difficult conversation letting them know when they are overvaluing themselves, based on time, skill, and experience of competitors, effectively pricing themselves out the market.
Cutting Corners
As I mentioned earlier, there is this “understood” leniency with friends and family. Setting expectations should take care of this but planners leave room for error. When these errors come up, as business partners first, we should do whatever it takes to leave our client with a positive experience. Don’t leave off the finishing touches because you are friends. If mistakes are made, concessions should be made. This sets the tone for future partnerships and let’s your friend know you are serious. A lot of times we don’t use friends because we feel like they’ll cut corners. Everybody wants top notch service friend or not, and instinctively when we receive it we want to refer other people. Make your friends subconsciously refer you. It shouldn’t be forced. They shouldn’t have to think about it because they don’t trust you. If you treat friends with the same respect as strangers, you’ll see growth. Again if all the steps are taken prior to this then this shouldn’t be an issue.
Doing business with friends requires both people to maintain high character and always express honesty. This will not only strengthen your friendship, but these two things will also have ripple effects on everything they do, improving them as a person.